Eventually
by Sarae64
Summary: Everything happens eventually...a slightly AU story set in season 6...may contain spoilers for any show up to 6x09 Booth/Brennan Romance/Angst Complete
1. The String Pulling in the Emergency

A/N: I own nothing and make nothing from it. ;)

I started this a while back - in the summer, I think. I've tackled it off and on as I've had time during this crazy fall. So, it may seem a bit disjointed, but then I'm not a linear thinker so that's to be expected. It contains most of the facts from season 6 so far, but maybe in a slightly different context, so it's a bit AU. Also, T just to be safe...

* * *

Dr. Temperance Brennan stopped at the entrance to the communications tent, pausing to catch her breath. She'd been called from the dig to take an "emergency" phone call. Though she was not one to jump to conclusions, preferring to have evidence before giving credence to the myriad of situations that could be considered an emergency, her thoughts had immediately gone to Booth. Her heart had begun racing the minute she heard the word "emergency" and she had run the entire route from the dig site to the tent. Now she was chiding herself and trying to regain some of her composure.

Her hands were still shaking slightly, she could feel her heart pounding in her chest and her breathing was still accelerated but she could no longer wait to learn the details of the emergency. She had to know what had caused Caroline Julian to call her in the Maluku Islands and insist on speaking to her immediately. She found a stool to sit on as she put the phone to her ear.

"Caroline?" Brennan said into the receiver and hoping the connection had not been broken.

"Cherie? Is that you?" Brennan recognized Caroline Julian's distinctive cadence even through the bad connection of the satellite phone.

"Caroline? What's wrong?" Brennan asked. "They told me it was an emergency."

"It is an emergency," Caroline exclaimed. "You and Booth up and running off. Dr. Hodgins and his wife up and running off. You all left Dr. Saroyen here to fend for herself. What were you thinking?"

"Caroline, what's wrong with Cam?" Brennan asked. She was breathing easier now, though she wouldn't admit to herself that it wasn't only because she was recovering from exertion. Booth wasn't the emergency. In fact, there probably was no real emergency. Brennan doubted that she and Caroline shared the same definition of the word.

"The case she's working on has gotten complicated and that sorry excuse of a replacement for you blabbed to the wrong people at the wrong time. Now Cam's in danger...of losing her job at the very least."

"I don't understand," Brennan said, trying to imagine what would cause Cam's job to be in danger.

"Basically, the dolt implied some DC power broker was involved before Dr. Saroyen and her pathetic team of replacements actually had the evidence needed for a conviction. That big whig is gunning for Cam and I wouldn't put it past him to make her disappear if he can't manage to throw his weight around enough to get her canned."

"What is it you want from me, Caroline?" Brennan asked. She thought she'd grasped the gist of the situation, but she wasn't entirely clear why Caroline was calling to tell her all of this.

"I want you to get your skinny butt back her to find the evidence Dr. Saroyen needs to get this conviction." Caroline said and Brennan could hear the frustration in her voice. "I've already contacted Dr. & Mrs. Hodgins. They're already on a flight back to DC. It took longer to get a hold of you."

"Jack and Angela are flying back from Paris?" Brennan was only mildly surprised by that revelation. It didn't take long for her to make her decision. If the truth were told, she'd been a bit disappointed by the findings of the dig up to this point and she was feeling a bit more melancholy than she would have expected. She wasn't sure if what she felt could be termed homesick or whether it was something else entirely. She also wasn't sure returning to DC would alleviate that feeling, but part of her felt a little bit excited about being back at the Jeffersonian with Cam and especially if Hodgins and Angela were there as well.

"I will get the first flight out I can find, Caroline, but it will take a while to get back," Brennan said.

"Just get here as fast as you can," Caroline said and her voice sounded softer.

"Caroline?" Brennan couldn't help herself, she had to ask. "Have you heard from Booth?"

"No, Cherie, I haven't."

"I'll see you in a few days. Thanks for calling."

* * *

The minute Brennan was back in Jakarta, she'd begun making phone calls. After her flight was booked she called a few of her contacts in DC. She asked no questions about Cam's case, preferring as always to examine the evidence without hearing other's theories that might prejudice her findings. The calls were made to _pull strings_. Though she was loathe to call in favors and in fact, she never had before, she felt compelled this time. She'd come to the realization that being back in DC and working on a case would not be the same without her partner.

She'd missed Booth more than she had thought it possible to miss anyone. He never left her thoughts and she had found it extremely difficult to compartmentalize him away. Many nights had been sleepless due to nightmares she could not banish or regrets she could not resolve.

So many nights she'd gone over their conversation in front of the Hoover building that changed everything. Though she'd insisted to Booth that she could not change, she realized that she had already changed. Spending time with a group of scientists over the past few months had made her realize just how much she missed who she had become with Booth. She was not comfortable with any of her companions here. She didn't know any of them well enough to share any part of herself, but she missed sharing with her Jeffersonian _family_ and especially with Booth.

She'd feared the changes she sensed were coming after _that night_. She'd been overwhelmed by Booth's what? Confession? Revelation? Proposal? She wasn't sure what term fit his request best.

With Angela and Jack getting married, Booth asking to give a relationship between them a try...it was as if everyone she knew was trying to force her out of her comfort zone and she had resisted fiercely. Now, however, she knew she had made a mistake. She had been the one to quote Einstein to Booth when she'd said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Yet, she realized, that was what she had done. She had left for a sabbatical hoping to rekindle her love of archeology and restore her partnership with Booth. But she realized, she was secretly hoping for a different outcome. Being on her own again had shown her how much she wished she wasn't.

Brennan knew she bore the responsibility for everything that was happening now...for Booth being in Afghanistan, for Cam being threatened, for the loneliness she'd been feeling for more than seven months. If she could do anything to help set that right, she would call in a favor or two.

* * *

Booth was surprised to say the least when he walked out of his CO's tent. No, the feeling he felt went beyond surprise, beyond stunned. It took him a couple of minutes to even process what he'd just been told. When it finally sank in, he had to pinch himself to ensure he wasn't dreaming. Then he was moving as quickly as his feet would carry him back to his tent with the brightest, biggest smile he'd worn since arriving in this hot, sandy, hurry-up-and-wait refuge. He was going home...early.

He reached his cot and started packing up the meager belongings he brought with him or received as care packages over the past seven months. The helicopter that would transport him out of this alternate reality was coming soon. There would be no time for goodbyes, no time to reminisce about the lives he'd encountered and the people who'd touched him over the past seven months.

He was sitting on the helicopter lifting away from the remote base before he started to wonder why he was leaving. His CO had not really given him a reason, he'd simply called him to his tent, thanked Booth for his service, complimented him on a job well done and told him to pack up because a transport was arriving in less than 10 minutes to get him started on his journey home.

His wondered if there had been an emergency, if someone had been injured or worse. It would be a while before he was able to ask those questions and it made him anxious. His first concern was for Parker, but he pushed those thoughts aside knowing there was nothing he could do until he arrived back in Washington. Then he wondered about Bones. No, they wouldn't send him home if something had happened to Bones because they weren't family.

That reminded him of an odd conversation he'd had a few weeks before with a newer arrival to the base. He'd been sitting in the mess tent reading a copy of Bone's most recent novel. Cam had sent it in a care package and he was on his second time through the book when this Sergeant Major in special forces took a seat across the table from him.

"_What's that you're reading there, Sergeant Major?" the other Sergeant Major asked._

_Booth had straightened up the book so the guy could see the font cover._

"_Bone of Contention__," he read. "Hmm...is it any good?"_

"_Yeah," Booth replied and set the book down. He reached a hand across the table offering to shake the other man's hand. "Booth," he said by way of introduction._

"_Conner," the other replied as he shook Booth's hand and smiled. "So, what's it about?"_

"_The book? It's a murder mystery," Booth said. "I guess you haven't had much time to read lately?"_

"_Nah. But maybe I'll borrow this when you're finished, eh?" he said as he reached out and picked the book up to look it over. "Hard back too. Somebody must like you."_

_He turned the book over and paused as he saw the photo of Bones on the back. A puzzled look came over his face and he turned to the front to see Dr. Temperance Brennan's name under the title. "Hey," he exclaimed, "I know who this is."_

"_Yeah?" Booth asked, wary of what Conner would say next._

"_Yeah...it was a couple of years ago. I was assigned to a protection detail. She was the assignment. She's a piece of work, that one," Conner said. His eyebrows rose in a look of disbelief as he shook his head._

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Booth asked as he struggled to maintain his cool._

"_She was always spewing all these fifty-dollar words, coming across all aloof and indifferent, but a few weeks into the mission, she started to relax a bit and it became apparent why we'd been assigned to her. She was amazing. So smart. So gorgeous and so unaware of it. I seriously think she could have handled anything without us there to protect her."_

_He paused and picked the book up again. He turned it over and looked at the photo on the back again. A smile crept back onto his face and Booth was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to hear more of this man's encounter with Bones._

"_I didn't know she wrote books."_

"_What was the mission?" Booth asked._

"_Well, I could tell you," Conner said with a smirk. "But then I'd have to kill you." He chuckled and Booth returned his smile, though less enthusiastically._

"_Nah, seriously, it was a classified mission. I guess everyone who reads this knows what she does for a living. She identifies remains. That's all I can say about it," Conner said and the smile left his face. Booth noticed a haunted look wash over his features briefly._

"_Yeah, I know what she does for a living," Booth said and sighed. "She's the best in the world and she's my partner...or she was before I took this gig."_

"_What's that?" Conner's head snapped up. "You know her?"_

"_Yes, I do," Booth said and thought, probably better than anyone else in the world._

"_Well, what did you do before getting this gig?" Conner asked._

"_I was an FBI Special Agent and liaison to the Jeffersonian Institute which is where Bones and her squint squad work. We solved murders together for five years."_

"_Five years...wow. And you walked away from that to come here?" Conner asked._

"_Not exactly," Booth said and took a deep breath. "Bones was invited to work on a big dig in Indonesia. It was very important to her. It might unlock some secret to the evolution of mankind sort of important and she was going to be gone for a year. Coincidentally, the Army came after me to do this training stint and it seemed like a good idea at the time..."_

"_Bones?" Conner asked. "Is that what you call her? And she lets you?"_

_Booth chuckled a little. "Yeah, she hated it at first, but..."_

"_She warmed to the idea," Conner finished for him, nodding in a knowing way._

"_So, you really can't give me any more details about your mission with Bones?" Booth asked, though he was sure he'd get a negative response. He just had to try._

"_All I can tell you is she was asked to identify some remains and special forces was asked to provide protection...and it wasn't the first time she'd been asked to do it. From what I heard, she's got a very high security clearance and has been asked to identify remains in some of the most volatile areas of the world by some of the highest power brokers in DC."_

_Booth sat back feeling sucker-punched. "Huh," Booth replied._

"_She wouldn't talk about it," Conner said. "She can't. All of that would be classified."_

"_Yeah," Booth said. "I know. Thanks for telling me what you could."_

Booth hadn't seen Conner after that. He and three others had died when an IED hit their vehicle on a tour of a neighboring village. Pushing those thoughts aside as well, Booth suddenly felt exhausted. He leaned back into the seat of the helicopter and tried to fan the flame of excitement he'd felt when he'd heard he was being sent home.

* * *

Brennan was beginning to feel like she was back where she belonged. She had been back long enough to greet her friends, take a shower and get briefed on Cam's case. Now she was back in the Jeffersonian Medico-Legal lab on the platform examining the remains that had caused all of this unexpected chaos to ensue.

Hodgins and Angela were beginning to work their magic with the particulates and other details that had been gleaned by Cam and the interns. Brennan was going over the remains as only she could, looking for anything that had been missed. It was taking longer than she liked because she was having a difficult time focusing. She was tired from lack of sleep, edgy from wondering how long it would be before the the most important person in her life returned.

Some part of her had known he was the most important person in her life when she left seven months previously. At that time she had been confused as to what that meant and how she should deal with that knowledge. She had been comfortable with knowing by denying. And then Booth had gambled and asked her to give them a chance. She'd wanted to say yes, but experience had taught her that saying yes would be tantamount to saying goodbye and she could not bear to do that.

Seven months away from Booth had given her time to reach some new conclusions. Booth was different. The way she felt about him was different. The way he treated her was different. What they shared was different. Thus she hoped a different outcome was indeed possible.

The only roadblock was whether or not he could forgive her for her unintentional rejection of his unorthodox declaration. If the situation had been reversed, she was unconvinced that she would be able to forgive him...at least right away. But Booth was different. He had an open heart. She hoped it was still open to her.

She was lost in thought and surmised that was how he managed to get all the way to the platform and set off the alarms before she knew he was in the room. Hearing the alarms go off caused her to jump slightly and turn toward the steps to the platform. There he was, looking exactly as she remembered him, smartly dressed in a suit & tie with a sheepish grin on his face.

"I guess my card expired," he said. She was down the steps, ignoring the alarms and wrapping herself around him in a hug before he could say more.

"Booth!" she exclaimed as she hugged him.

Cam was behind them swiping her card to shut off the alarms before Booth could even respond to Brennan.

"Hey, Bones," Booth said as he hugged her back and smiled at Cam standing behind her. Booth started to pull back after an average length of time, but stopped when Bones would not let go. She clung to him for several more seconds before finally pulling herself back.

"You made it back in one piece," Bones said as she took another step back and looked him up and down. "You kept your promise."

"I did my best, Bones," Booth said. "But then, we didn't quite make it a year did we? You and I will have a talk about that later, ok?"

"OK," Bones said.


	2. The Little Details in the Big Changes

Three weeks later...

Brennan walked past the Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab security guard and gave a little wave. It was not unusual for her to show up at all hours of the night and Thomas was not at all surprised to see her at this hour of the morning. He smiled and waved back as she swiped her car to open the glass entry.

It struck her at that moment that she would not know his name though he'd been standing guard over the lab for at least five years, if Booth had not accompanied her on several occasions. Booth made it a point to get to know everyone he interacted with on more than one occasion. Prior to his consistent badgering for her to make a spot in her exceptional memory for people she had previously considered unimportant, she remembered very few names. It wasn't that she considered them so unimportant before, it was just that she preferred to focus on details that were pertinent to whatever situation she found herself in and often times, the names of people who were not directly involved were not stored in her memory.

Booth had changed that. Now she made an effort to remember the names of people she encountered on a fairly regular basis, regardless of how pertinent they were to whatever she was working on at the time. Today, Thomas was only pertinent in that he was a witness to her entry into the lab at 4:00am.

This was just another in a string of nights in which Brennan found sleep elusive. It has been about three weeks since she'd returned from Maluku and a lot had happened in that short time. Everyone had returned, but everything had also changed since her departure more than seven month previous.

In the past three weeks, they had used their considerable and combined skills to take down a powerful lobbyist who committed murder and saved Cam's job in the process. Hannah, the woman Booth had fallen in love with while in Afghanistan had requested an assignment in Washington, DC, had surprised Booth with her arrival and and subsequently moved into his apartment. Jack and Angela had announced they were having a baby and Cam was getting somewhat serious with her Doctor friend even as Michelle was nearing completion of her Junior year of high school and looking at visiting several college campuses in the summer months to come.

Brennan walked into her office, turning the lights on as she slung her bag off her shoulder. She shed her coat and hung it up on the rack just behind the door. She was torn between working on her latest novel and heading to limbo to work on identifying another set of bones. She took a seat at her desk and stored her bag in it's customary spot.

She opened her laptop and decided to check her email before making a decision on how to proceed with her early start to the day. There was one from her publisher, one from and someone she hadn't heard from in a long time as well as a couple of spam messages that had made it past the filter.

One of the messages made her choice for how she would spend the rest of her day rather easy. There would be no identifying bones in limbo this day. The timing was perfect, actually. Since Hannah had arrived, she'd found herself with a lot of free time and not much inspiration for writing. She replied to both email messages and deleted the spam.

Several hours later, after gathering several texts and tools, she left the lab. Her departure coincided with the security shift change and occurred just prior to any one else arriving. She waved at Thomas and his replacement, Larry, as she walked out.


	3. The Message in the Book 1

Nine weeks later...

A familiar scene was playing out at the Founding Fathers this evening. Booth and the _squint squad_ were celebrating the conviction of another murderer due to the excellent forensic evidence this group had gathered. This celebratory meeting for drinks and blowing off steam was familiar. At the same time it was strained. What had once seemed cozy, warm and jovial felt more like a dark, cold and tension filled setting these days, even when they were celebrating.

The presence of Daisy Wick did nothing to improve the atmosphere. Since she and Dr. Lance Sweets had begun spending time together again, she accompanied the group to their celebrations far more than Booth would have liked. This night she was having difficulty restraining herself from telling anecdotes from the trip she and Brennan had taken several months previous.

It had been nearly three months since five of the gathered had returned from their various travels. Dr. Brennan and Daisy had returned from a dig in the Maluku Islands of Indonesia. Booth had returned from a stint training Afghani Police for the Army and the Hodgins, Jack and Angela, had returned from an extended honeymoon in the city of light, Paris, France. They'd all returned to help Dr. Camille Saroyen and they'd stayed.

Of course, being away for seven months had caused some changes, not the least of which was that Booth returned with a girlfriend who soon followed him back to DC. Though Hannah was not present this evening, she was a key factor in the lack of easy companionship this group was used to sharing. The witty reparte Booth and Brennan used to share had disappeared.

"But our last day there was the most exciting," Daisy said as all but Brennan listened with rapt attention. "Our vehicle broke down on our way from the dig site to our camp. First Dr. Brennan saved me from a giant snake."

"Wait," said Booth as he held up his hand and interrupted Daisy. "Bones hates snakes."

"Yeah, she mentioned something about finding it interesting that she's only afraid of snakes when you're around to jump on," Daisy said. She was totally oblivious to the blush that crept onto the cheeks of her _mentor_ and the discomfort she was causing Brennan as she amused the rest of the group.

"Then, while Dr. Brennan was working to fix it, these armed men approached us from the surrounding jungle. Dr. Brennan immediately recognized them as Alifuru and advised me to swallow Lance's engagement ring and look more like a women because they like women."

"Wait, what?" Sweets asked. "You swallowed the engagement ring? Then how did you..." Sweets trailed off as he noticed the expression on Daisy's face and realized the route the engagement ring had taken before it was returned to him. "Oh..." He grimaced as Daisy resumed her tale.

"Anyway, they did like women, but maybe a little too much and Dr. Brennan had to kick their asses," Daisy said. "That was right before we got the call to come back home."

"Wait," Angela said. "Brennan kicked ass on armed...how many were there?"

"I think there were three," Daisy replied. "Dr. Brennan is very handy with a shovel."

"Wow, Bren," Angela said in an attempt to draw her uncharacteristically silent friend into the conversation. "You took out three armed men with a shovel?"

Brennan shrugged. "Survival instincts are strong when one has to rely on one's self."

Cam sensed that Brennan was getting ready to leave and Cam knew that if she was going to make her announcement, it was now or never, tension or not. It was not uncommon for either Booth or Brennan to leave the group early these days. Neither hung around like the old days, though lately, it had been Brennan that left early. Cam tipped up her glass, draining the remaining liquid and sighed as she put the glass back on the table. She reached into her bag and pulled out several envelopes.

Just as Brennan was sliding off her stool, Cam spoke up: "Ah, before anybody leaves this evening, take one of these envelopes. And," Cam continued, her tone leaving no doubt she was serious about what she was saying, "this is not open for debate. Attendance is mandatory."

Groans began almost instantly as all of the _squint squad_ recognized the envelope. It was that time of year, time for the annual Jeffersonian Institution's Patron's Ball. In the past, Jack found a way to get out of going to the ball. He was among the loudest of the groaners, but this year, he was joined in some pretty loud groaning by Brennan.

"Cam, I have attended this ball every year since I began working at the Jeffersonian. I think I have earned the right to miss one," Brennan explained in an equally serious tone.

"Dr. Brennan, not only do you have to be there, but one of the most generous patrons of the Institution has requested that you be included in his party for the evening. I really need you to cooperate for this one evening," Cam replied, her tone a bit softer and revealing some empathy to most of those who heard it.

Dr. Brennan wasn't most people. While the most minute detail of the bones of a corpse rarely escaped her attention, details such as shifts in the tone of a human voice usually flew right by her. "No," Brennan replied, her brow furrowed. "I might agree to go to this function again this year, but I refuse to be added to a group of people I don't even know. You are fully aware that my social skills are inadequate at best. It is more likely my interaction with this patron would cause him to withdraw his support by the end of the evening than cause him to increase it."

"Which is why Angela and Jack will be joining you in that party," Cam said. She held up a hand to Jack's face just as a protest was forming on his lips. "Listen, I don't enjoy these events any more than you do. It's a fact of life. It's one night, a maximum of 4 hours of your year. No arguments, no excuses."

Booth chose that time to chime in, "Come on guys, it's one evening. Give Cam a break."

Brennan shot him a look that would chill the blood of most men. She was annoyed because she knew he was not included in the group of mandatory attenders. Booth just grinned his patented lop-sided grin and turned to set his empty beer bottle on the bar. Brennan chose that moment to make her departure. It was obvious to all of those at the table that she was tired. They knew trials took a lot of energy from her. It took a lot of energy from all of them which is why these celebratory gatherings used to be so nice. Spending time unwinding together used to recharge them, but it wasn't working this night.

Brennan stopped at the bar to settle her bill before walking out of the bar. The crisp night air caused her to pause as she walked outside and she took a moment to look back at her friends sitting around their table in the bar. A memory of another night leaving this bar, the night the Taffet trial had ended and they'd learned Angela and Jack had been married, crept into her mind. She'd told Booth that night how she felt everything was changing. She realized now that she had been right.

Everyone of her friends had moved forward. Jack and Angela were married. Sweets and Daisy had finally resolved their separation issues and were taking their relationship a little slower, but were back together. Cam was still dating the Gynecologist and Booth...was with Hannah. Brennan realized she was the only one who had taken a step backward. The _family_ she'd felt like such a part of just over a year previous was now dissolved. She was back to being alone as she'd long professed to prefer. She pushed the thoughts aside and began the walk back to the lab parking garage and her car.

* * *

Brennan pulled into her building parking lot and parked in her designated space. She'd driven home on auto-pilot as fatigue had begun to really make it's presence felt. The word _alone_ had been bouncing around unbidden in her mind and she was craving the void she hoped sleep would bring. As she closed the car door and pushed the button on her key fob to lock and set the the alarm, she noticed something stuck in her windshield wiper.

She stepped to her left and leaned slightly to take a closer look. At that moment, she felt something strike the right side of her chest just under her clavicle at a high velocity. She didn't hear or see anything, just felt a searing pain in her chest as she staggered backward. As she fell to the ground, she noted the side glass of the car beside her shatter. It was then she knew she had been shot.

She rolled toward her car and grabbed her purse with her left hand as she tried desperately to get under her car before she lost consciousness. Fortunately, she didn't have to roll far. With her left hand, she located her cell and dialed 911. She placed the phone on her chest, near her chin and began trying to put pressure on her chest.

The 911 Dispatcher began talking and Brennan picked the phone off her chest bringing it to her face. "I've been shot. I'm under my car. I'm losing blood and will most likely lose consciousness, but I need you to give a message to someone in case you don't get here in time." Brennan paused as she felt blood begin to pool in the back of her throat. She fought the urge to cough and managed to give her address to the dispatcher.

"Ma'am, I've already dispatched emergency services to your location. Please stay on the line..." The Dispatcher was cut off by Brennan mid-sentence.

"Please," she pleaded and gasped, trying to keep air flowing into her lungs. "Listen carefully. Tell Dr. Jack Hodgins of the Jeffersonian Institute the goodbye letter is located in the novel _Contact _on the shelf in my office." This time she could not suppress the choking cough that wracked her failing body.

"Ma'am," the Dispatcher said. "Ma'am, are you still there?"

"Yes," Brennan whispered. "Promise you'll deliver the message."

"I'll deliver the message," the Dispatcher replied. "The EMTs should be there with you in less than 5 minutes."

Brennan didn't respond. Speaking was no longer possible. She was gasping for air as blackness began to close in on her.

"Ma'am?" the Dispatcher continued to try and get a response, but none was forthcoming.

* * *

Booth left the celebration not long after Brennan had departed. He turned on his scanner out of habit just after he started the SUV and began driving toward his apartment. He was reminding himself to thank Bones in the morning for picking up the tab when the voice over the scanner read an all-too-familiar address. His attention was immediately diverted to the information coming over the scanner.

A full emergency response team was being sent to the address he knew housed Bones's apartment because a woman had called 911 claiming she had been shot. His previously relaxed and pleasant mood changed instantly to that of fear and recrimination. He flipped on the siren and found the nearest place to turn his vehicle around.

Police cars, an ambulance and a fire truck were already on site when Booth finally arrived. He flashed his badge as a firefighter tried to stop him from approaching the scene and they let him proceed. It was then he noticed Bones's car was backed out of it's space, the car parked in the space next to it had a shattered side window and he saw a large pool of blood in Bones's space.

He felt panic rising as he searched for her.

Then he saw her on the gurney, being pushed toward the ambulance. The oxygen mask on her face and the IV tubing coming from her arm did nothing to alleviate his fear. He moved closer as they continued to push her toward the ambulance. Her hair was matted and wet with blood and she was very pale.

He stopped the EMT just a she was push into the ambulance. "That's my partner," Booth said. "Is she gonna be ok?"

"She's lost a lot of blood," the EMT responded. "We need to get her to the hospital." The EMT gently pushed Booth back and closed the ambulance door as Booth nodded.

Booth turned to look at the scene again and pulled his cell out of his pocket. His first call was to Caroline. She was still laughing with the others at the Founding Fathers, but her tone sobered immediately upon hearing that Bones had been shot. She told Booth to follow his partner to the hospital and promised she would get a team to the scene and get an agreement from the DC Police to allow a joint investigation on this case. She also promised to send him a transcript of the 911 call as soon as possible.

His second call was to Hannah. He knew she would be waiting for him at the apartment and he had no plans to be heading there in the near future. Then he was back in his SUV and driving toward the hospital to check on Bones.

* * *

Hodgins was waiting with the others for Caroline to return to their table. It had been obvious the call she received had been bad news. Her jovial mood had become all business and she'd excused herself to go make a few calls. Before she could return, his own cell began ringing.

"Hodgins," he said as he answered.

"Dr. Jack Hodgins of the Jeffersonian?" the female voice asked.

"Yes," Jack replied.

"My name is Joyce and I am a 911 dispatcher with the DC Emergence Management Agency. I was asked to deliver a message to you from a Dr. Temperance Brennan," she said.

"Dr. Brennan?" Jack asked. "What did she say?"

"She asked that I tell you _the goodbye letter is located in the novel Contact on the shelf in her office_," Joyce said. "I hope you know what that means."

"What?" Jack asked as his brain took a moment to comprehend that Brennan had left a message for him with a 911 Dispatcher. "Oh," he said a second later. "Ooh," he said again in a lower, slower tone that indicated he had comprehended the message. Jack swallowed hard and then asked, "Where is she?"

"She has been transported to Washington Hospital Center," Joyce replied.

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"I can't give you any more information," Joyce replied.

"OK," Jack said. "Thank you for giving me the message." He ended the call and turned to see Angela looking at him with a frightened and questioning look. "I don't know what, but something bad has happened to Dr. B. She's been transported to Washington Hospital Center."

"Oh, God!" Angela exclaimed as she brought her hand to cover her mouth. A similar reaction was expressed by all of those remaining at the table. It was about that time Caroline returned to the table.

"Booth called," she said. "Dr. Brennan was shot in her parking lot and has been transported to..."

"Washington Hospital Center." Several people at the table finished her sentence in unison. Her eyebrows rose in surprise and then lowered in irritation. "Booth says she's lost a lot of blood, but she was alive when they transported her. I've got a team heading over to collect evidence and DC Metro has agreed to share jurisdiction on this."

Cam nodded and said, "We can't all go crowd the hospital at once. I'll head back to the lab and await any evidence that gets sent. Daisy, you come with me. Dr. Hodgins, why don't you take Angela to the hospital and then decide if you want to stay there or join us back at the lab. I'm sure we will need your expertise at some point."

* * *

Jack and Angela met up with Booth at the hospital and learned that Brennan had been taken into surgery. They were shown to a waiting room where Jack and Angela found a seat and Booth took up pacing back and forth in front of them. No amount of coaxing from Angela would cause Booth to cease. Hannah arrived about 10 minutes later and that finally made Booth pause for a few moments as he and Hannah embraced.

He was starting to update Hannah on what they knew when his cell rang. He stepped away as he answered and Hannah went to sit with Jack and Angela. "Booth," he said when he was a sufficient distance from the others in the waiting room.

"Listen, Cherie," Caroline said. They're sending the 911 recording to your email. You should have it in a few minutes."

"Thanks, Caroline," Booth said. "I'll look for it."

Booth ended the call and then checked his email. The message from the DCEMA had already arrived. He downloaded the attached MP3 file and listened. He made his way to a chair as he heard Bones's voice clear and strong at first, but as it became obvious she was struggling to breath and continue talking, he was glad he'd decided to sit. It felt like the someone had punched him in the gut and he had to concentrate to force himself to keep breathing.

Then he heard her odd request and shot a questioning look at Jack. Of course, Jack had no idea what he was listening to, so Jack looked at him with confusion and concern. Booth motioned for Jack to join him away from the ladies.

"What is the goodbye letter?" Booth asked as Hodgins sat in the chair next to him.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Bones said to tell you the goodbye letter was in Contact on the shelf...what the hell does that mean?" Booth asked.

"Oh," Jack replied. "When Dr. B and I were buried in the car, we wrote letters...well, notes, really...to...well, mine was to Angela. I never read Dr. B's, but I always assumed it was to you...in case we didn't make it out. We wanted to say goodbye."

"Why would you assume it was to me?" Booth asked.

Jack didn't answer with anything more than an _are you kidding me_ look?

"So, you haven't read it?" Booth asked.

"No. I haven't seen it since she put it in her pocket before we blew the airbag," Jack replied. "I'd forgotten about it, to be honest."

"Did you ever give yours to Angela?" Booth asked.

"Yeah, when were together the first time," Jack said, smiling.

Booth nodded and looked back toward Angela and Hannah. They were conversing and looking back at Jack and him from time to time.

"Did you tell anyone else about the goodbye letter?"

"No," Hodgins replied.

"Good," Booth said and he relaxed a little bit. "Let's keep it that way. Let's hope we don't have to look at it."


	4. The Message in the Book 2

A few days later...

Booth was already on his way to the hospital when his phone notified him it has just received a text message. He waited until he was parked in the lot to read it, but what he saw there made his heart skip a beat and had him running into the hospital rather than walking.

_Booth, you need to get here now!_ It was from Angela. He knew that could not be good news. He felt his pulse increase as he skillfully made his way as quickly as possible to the waiting area outside the ICU he'd visited so frequently over the past few days. He ignored the irritated looks he got from those he passed. He cared about nothing but getting to Bones as quickly as possible.

His heart dropped through to his stomach when he saw the red-rimmed eyes and heard the sniffles of those who had gathered before him. A wave of nausea over took him and he had to close his eyes to fight the urge to run to the nearest bathroom. Angela saw him and flew to him, engulfing him in an urgent hug.

"Oh, Booth," Angela wailed. "She's gone...she didn't...she never woke up."

Booth staggered backwards, even as he pushed Angela away and into the waiting arms of her very distraught and concerned husband. Fortunately, he bumped into a wall, which he grasped for support as he felt his knees go weak. Cam walked cautiously toward him, but he shook his head to warn her off.

"Seeley," Cam said in a hushed, concerned tone.

"Where is she?" he asked. "I want to see her."

Cam moved closer, even as the anger and determination in his eyes warned her away. "She's gone." Cam repeated Angela's message, but with an emphasis on a different meaning.

"What?" He nearly shouted. Then he lowered his voice. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"I mean, the State Department stepped in and they've whisked her off to a morgue. We will no longer be involved with the investigation into her death," Cam said. Booth heard the quiet anger in her voice and took a moment to notice they were all seething beneath their grief.

"We'll see about that!" Booth said as he turned and strode out of the waiting area.

"Seeley..." Cam called after him at the same time Dr. Sweets called, "Agent Booth!" But there was no stopping Booth. He was on a mission and it was the only thing stopping him from completely breaking down at that moment. He needed to see Caroline and Cullen and he wasn't taking _no_ for an answer.

At the end of the day, _no_ was all he could take. He'd exhausted every possibility he could think of including Max, but there was no gaining access to Bones or any of the evidence that was being collected with regard to her death. A part of him understood the reasons he was being given, but he knew there was no other team of people who would find her murderer faster than his team. That was before they'd lost the key member of the team.

He was defeated. He felt it with every fiber of his being. He knew people would be wondering where he was, worried about how he was handling the loss of his partner. He just didn't really care...about anything. Except Parker. He thought about Parker frequently as he sat at the first dive he'd come across after having his final hope crushed.

Finally, after downing several shots, he pulled out his phone and called his son's cell phone. He told Parker he was fine and just needed to be alone, so not to worry if people called around asking about him. He told his son he would see him the next day and that was the last obligation he felt before he decided drowning his sorrows was not a bright move either.

He turned off his cell and started walking because he knew he was in no condition to drive. After hours of walking, he'd ended up at Bones' apartment in the wee hours of the morning. By then, what little adrenaline he'd been running on had worn off and he plopped down on the stoop of the building entrance.

After a few moments to rest, his more sober brain decided to turn on his cell. He knew he'd been hiding long enough. There were a number of missed calls, the majority of which had been from Hannah. It struck him at that moment, that she had been the last person he'd thought about the entire day and it made him wonder what that meant.

He took a look around as the sun began peeking over the horizon and realized he was in no mood to walk back to his car. So, he decided to suck it up, take the wrath and give Cam a call for a ride. He wasn't quite ready to face Hannah's anger at that moment. He wanted to be around Bones's people. He wanted to be with Bones.

After getting a chewing out and a ride from Cam, he drove himself to the Jeffersonian and was not surprised to be greeted by both of the Hodgins. It was apparent they had not slept much either. They gathered in Bones's office and Booth slumped into her the couch. He realized it had been a long time since he'd done that. It used to be habit but since returning from Afghanistan, he'd rarely been in her office, let alone stayed long enough to sit. A giant wave of guilt and regret washed over him and he closed his eyes and leaned his head back to try and suppress the negative emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him.

"Have you spoke to Hannah, Booth?" Angela asked. "She's been very worried about you."

"No," Booth said as he shook his head. "I'm sorry I worried everyone. I just needed some time."

"I totally get that," Angela said as she sat down next to Booth and gently rubbed his shoulder. "It was just...well, one giant loss at a time, you know?"

Booth nodded, fighting to contain tears. The last thing he wanted to do was breakdown in front of everyone. Jack chose that moment to offer a worn, stained piece of paper to Booth.

"It's the letter," Jack said in response to the questioning look he received from Booth.

Jack could see the moment Booth comprehended and didn't say any more. He motioned for Angela to join him and said, "Let's give Booth a little more time to himself."

Booth noted the confused look on Angela's face, but looked at her with a silent thank you as she rose and left with her husband. He was grateful they had each other for comfort because he was not feeling up to trying to make anyone else feel better. He turned over the folded piece of paper Hodgins had just placed in his hand. He swallowed hard to try and clear the lump that had newly formed in his throat and closed his eyes again.

Once he felt his eyes had cleared of moisture enough to see clearly, he opened them and ran a gently finger over the paper stained with dirt, sweat and blood. He was apprehensive. What if this letter was not intended for him but for her brother or father? He heaved a sigh and decided there was only one way to find out.

Gently, he unfolded the paper until it was opened. It became immediately clear to him that it was a page from one of her novels. He recalled that one had been in the car with her. He took a deep breath and read.

_Booth_

_If you're reading this, then I am most likely dead. I know that you will have done everything in your power to prevent that, but if you could not, then no one could. Hodgins says I have faith in you, but I say you have proven on multiple occasions that you are capable of performing seemingly impossible feats of heroism. You are and always will be my hero and I wanted you to know that no one on Earth is more important to me than you. I hope that if and when you think of me, you will remember me fondly._

_To quote a song (because time is short): "Let me say before we part, so much of me is made of what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart. Now, whatever way our stories end, you'll know you have re-written mine by being my friend."_

_Bones_

He didn't know how many times he'd read the note when he heard someone opening the door to Bones's office. The noise broke his trance and he hurriedly but delicately folded the paper and placed it in the inside pocket of his jacket, the one closest to his heart. He stood and turned in time to see Hannah looking at him with a look he couldn't quite get a read on. It seemed a mixture of relief, anger and hurt.

"Seeley," she said as she folded her arms across her chest in more of a protective rather than defensive manner. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you."

Booth looked down at his feet and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Hannah," he said as he looked back up. "I..." he paused and tried to think of the right thing to say. "I just needed some time. I didn't mean to worry you."

"How could I not be worried?" she asked, sounding more irritated. "I get a phone call telling me that Temperance..." She stopped. She knew he didn't need to hear it again. "And that you'd gone off in a rage. You didn't answer your phone; you didn't come home..."

"I know," he said apologetically. "What I did was inexcusable. I'm sorry," he said. He was firmly planted in his spot. He was making no move to close the distance between them and that caused him to wonder also. He felt no desire to be comforted by her and that disturbed him. She deserved more than the coldness he was feeling toward her at this time.

"Are you alright?" she asked, her tone softer again. "What can I do to help?"

"Nothing," Booth replied rather quickly. "There's nothing anyone can do. It's too late."

"What are you going to do?" she asked quietly.

"I'm going to go home, take a shower and go see Parker. He was very fond of Bo..." His voice cracked as he tried to say her name so he stopped and took a deep breath. "You go ahead to work. I'll be fine."

"Seeley..." she started to say, but he stopped her.

"No, seriously. You go to work. I still need time."

She hesitated and then acquiesced. She nodded and turned to leave.

"Hey, Hannah," Booth said quietly. She stopped and turned back, looking as though she was ready to rush and embrace him. "Thanks...for understanding."

"Sure," she said and the disappointed sound in her voice was not lost on him.

* * *

Bren was lying in a hospital bed waiting for Booth to arrive with their newborn daughter. She was tired and in a bit of pain, but so excited to see her family. She knew it wouldn't be long before their friends and colleagues from the lab dropped around for a visit. She figured it was fortuitous for them the birth had occurred very early in the morning. That afforded her a little time to recover, to spend some quality together time with her husband and their new daughter before others intruded.

She looked at the clock on the wall and wondered what was taking so long. She had been awake for nearly 30 minutes now and the nurse had assured her Booth and their baby would be visiting momentarily. She was anxious and becoming quite restless. Bren considered getting up to go look for them herself, but a severe pain in her chest halted that thought and started her thoughts racing down another road entirely.

Why did her chest hurt so much? Had there been complications during the birth? The last thing she recalled, she was being wheeled into the OR for an emergency Cesarean Section. Booth had been by her, at the head of the operating table as the doctors had successfully extracted their daughter and she had been fine. But after so many hours of labor and being near the point of exhaustion, the anesthesiologist had put Bren under almost immediately after Booth showed her the beautiful bundle he held so tenderly before they both were whisked away to the neonatal nursery.

She didn't know how long she had been out, but it had been more than 30 minutes since she'd regained consciousness. Now, as she laid back on the bed, trying to ease the pain in her chest, she closed her eyes to try and remember anything that might have caused such discomfort.

"Dr. Brennan?" She heard and the voice puzzled her. "Dr. Brennan...can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?" Bren felt strange. The light began to grow dim as the voice became louder and more insistent.

Brennan opened her eyes to a rather harsh light and an unfamiliar face. Confusion was etched across her face as she blinked several times to clear her vision. The pain in her chest seemed to grow exponentially as her cognition returned. She quickly realized she'd been dreaming and was now back to her _expected_ reality.

"It's good to have you back with us, Dr. Brennan," the nurse said. She was smiling and began checking the IV drip that Brennan now noticed was inserted in her left arm.

"Where am I?" Brennan asked.

"You have some visitors waiting just outside the door and I'm going to let them explain," the nurse said as she jotted some information down on a chart.

"May I see that chart?" Brennan asked.

"Not just now," the nurse said. She placed the chart back in it's place, out of Brennan's reach and walked toward the door.

* * *

A week had pass since what Booth now considered to be the worst day of his life. It had seemed much longer to him. He'd nearly forgotten that Bones had given him Power of Attorney a few years back after Zack had been incarcerated. A lack of sleep, an extraordinary sense of loss, a pervasive feeling of hopelessness and helplessness as he sat with Russ and Max while they made arrangements for a memorial which was taking place today had taken its toll.

Hannah had been well meaning in her attentiveness to him. He knew she felt the loss to some degree as she and Bones had developed a friendship of sorts, a strained friendship, but a connection none-the-less. However, his guilt was now driving the wedge he'd half expected Bones to drive between them.

He couldn't quite get past that Bones had been alone when she was shot. He couldn't help resenting Hannah because he'd been with her when they'd removed Bones from the hospital. He began spending less time at home every day after that. For some reason he could not quite put his finger on, the last person he wanted be with was Hannah. His guilt was compounded when he'd felt relieved as she'd left for another assignment yesterday.

As he lay in bed, trying to motivate himself to move, he began to realize how much he was dreading the thought of attending the service. He'd go...Bones deserved that much from him. But he wanted nothing more than to finally spend some time alone, far from all of his and Bones's well-meaning friends and family members. He was convinced that he would finally get that opportunity after the service. The promise of that solitude he craved finally spurred him to drag his sorry ass out of bed.

Attending Bones's service was even more difficult than he'd imagined. Booth was having a difficult time focusing on the ceremony. Several people spoke during the service and while Booth didn't hear a word they said, he was struck by how many people Bones had encountered and how little he really knew about what she did before they became partners and while she was away on her _vacations_.

Booth ended up shaking hands with so many politicians, military officers and scholarly dignitaries his arm felt like rubber before the majority of the crowd dissembled and the core group of her most trusted colleagues and friend gathered back at the Hodgins estate for a good, old fashioned wake. Booth was counting the minutes, ensuring he had stayed an appropriate and respectable amount of time before he left and finally found the solace he desperately hoped to find away from all the sympathy and concern he felt he didn't deserve. After all, if he'd been with her instead of trying to convince himself that he'd moved on with Hannah, Bones might still be here with all of them.

Suddenly, he felt an unexpected vibration in the pocket of his suit jacket. He was momentarily stunned, confused, thinking he'd imagined it. He knew his cell was in his pants pocket. He felt the vibration again, stuck his hand in the pocket and pulled out a cell phone he'd never seen before. A text message was shining on the screen.

_Booth - find a way to isolate yourself so you can't be overheard and text me back, please._

The sender's number was blocked. Booth was intrigued. He wondered who had slipped the phone in his pocket. It could have been any number of people at either the service or here at the wake. After a few moments, he decided the text was a good excuse to leave.

He found Angela and Jack, thanked them for everything and said goodbye before he left and headed for his SUV. On his way to his vehicle, he returned the text message.

_Who is this?_

Before he could even get into the driver's seat and close the door, the mystery cell began to vibrate again. This time, it was an incoming call from the blocked sender. Booth considered ignoring the call, but something deep down in his gut made him answer.

"Who is this?" he said as he answered the phone with a tone that conveyed his irritation at the subterfuge this caller was employing. But what he heard next took more than the irritation from his mood. It took the breath from his lungs and he was glad he was sitting in the SUV by the time the caller answered.

"Booth?" The voice was quiet, hesitant, but he recognized it. After he was able to take a breath again, he closed his eyes and prayed he wasn't imagining things.

"Bones?" he responded, his voice equally quiet and hesitant.

"Are you alone? Can you talk?" she asked. Her voice was stronger and he knew he wasn't imagining.

"Bones! Where are you? Oh God, I thought...I thought..." His voice cracked and he was unable to continue speaking as he tried to swallow the lump that formed in this throat and he closed his eyes to force back tears.

"Booth, I'm so sorry. I told them I wouldn't help unless they let me contact you, but this was the first opportunity since I woke up," she said. He could hear the worry in her voice.

"Who is _they_, Bones?" he asked. "Where are you? Are you okay?"

"Booth, I'm okay," she said. "I'm healing and will soon be fully recovered. I just...after...I insisted they let me tell you. I just wanted you to know I'm alive. I'm okay and what I'm doing is classified so that's all I can say."

"What? Classified? Bones, where are you?" He was working hard to keep the frustration he was feeling out of his tone.

"You can't tell anyone else I'm alive, Booth. Please trust me. This is best for everyone and will keep all of you safe. I'll finish as quickly as I can. I just...you're my partner and I didn't want you to think, even for a minute, that I was really deceased."

Booth closed his eyes, took a deep breath and blew it out in an effort to calm himself. His emotions were a jumble of elation and anger, excitement and frustration, joy and irritation, relief and fear. "Bones," he asked, his voice far calmer. "What about your dad and Russ? What about Angela and Jack?"

"You can't tell them, Booth. It's for their own safety. You have to act as though you think I'm dead. I'll work as quickly as I can, I promise."

"You need to heal, Bones," he argued. "You shouldn't be working at all."

"No, it's okay. They're taking very good care of me and I know my limitations," she replied. "Perhaps you can take a vacation while I'm away and spend some quality time with Hannah. That would seem a reasonable course of action for a partner to take and it would minimize your contact with Angela, Jack and the others at the Jeffersonian. Also, the FBI might delay assigning you a new partner long enough for me to complete my assignment."

Booth swallowed hard. "How long of a vacation, Bones? A week? Two weeks? How long?"

The hesitation in her answer was not lost on him. He could picture her frowning slightly as she contemplated his question and ran estimations through her head. "I estimate no more than a week," she said.

"I don't like this," Booth replied. He was trying and losing the battle to keep his irritation out of his voice.

"You don't have to like it, Booth. I'm merely extending the courtesy I requested of you because you're my partner, I trust you and I thought you deserved to know. I have to go now. Good bye, Booth."

He didn't even get a chance to respond before the line went dead.


	5. The Joy in the Return

One month later...

Booth still had not heard from Bones since their short phone conversation in his SUV following her memorial. He'd tried to text to the blocked caller that had sent the initial text that afternoon, but had received no reply. He'd tried to call and never had gotten an answer.

He had managed to work out that Bones had been working on something for more than a month before she was shot. Booth had taken the vacation Bones had suggested he take, but not with Hannah. He spent the time investigating every avenue he could find to try and figure out what Bones had been up to prior to her _death_.

Hannah had tried to comfort him, had tried to help him, but he'd remained very tight-lipped around her. He told himself it was to protect her, but deep down he knew it was because he was finally being honest with himself in regards to Hannah. He was just sorry it took such a devastating event to finally wake him up.

For far too long, he'd tried to convince himself that Hannah was going to be able to provide what he needed and wanted. The truth he'd come to realize is that she was quite a lot like Bones, but without the one quality Bones claimed she didn't have. Hannah did not have the open heart and selfless devotion that Bones gave to those she loved. Hannah was even less interested in getting married and settling down than Bones.

Somewhere, deep down he'd known this. It was likely why he'd waited to long to introduce Hannah to Parker and why he'd requested that Bones join them for that initial meeting. Hannah tried, she really did. She was just needed a less restrictive, less boring lifestyle which flew in the face of all Booth hoped to find one day.

So, when Hannah told him she'd accepted a new assignment and would be moving out, he was not surprised. He'd even found it a bit hard to feel disappointed...or to feel anything other than the ever-present guilt he could not seem to dump these days.

* * *

Brennan walked through the front door to her loft for the first time in more than six weeks. She promised herself she was finished taking on these special top-secret cases for the government. Had she known where this would take her, she would have turned down the request in the beginning. But, being told she would not have to travel and given that she'd called in a marker to get Booth home early, she'd felt compelled to assist in the top-secret investigation. Little did she know it would take more than 3 months due to a nearly successful attempt on her life or that it would require her to lie to all of her friends and family, save Booth.

As she walked into her dark, quiet loft and walked through to her bedroom without turning on the lights, it felt strange to be back and she was feeling anxious about how she would inform everyone that she was not dead after all. She'd been thinking of different scenarios for quite some time and had decided on what she thought would be the least harmful route. The problem was, she would need Booth for that and the thought of asking for his help after their short conversation a month previous was not appealing either.

Her actual part of the investigation had ended a week previous when she'd positively identified several sets of remains that had been recovered by CIA personnel in Yemen. It had taken another week for authorities, both foreign and domestic, to apprehend those who had been trying to prevent the truth from being revealed at any cost. She'd been informed this morning that the threat had been neutralized and she could return to her life confident that neither she nor her family or friends would be endangered further.

* * *

He'd been back at work for about a week and had spent it catching up on paperwork and consulting on a few cases. Thankfully, no one had suggested assigning him a new partner...yet. Truth be told, if Bones really had died, he didn't think he would have accepted a new partner any way. He didn't have one before he started working with Bones and there was no one who could replace her.

It was late when he left the Hoover building. In what seemed a rather rare occurrence of late, he was feeling hungry. So, his first stop was to the Royal Diner. It had been about a week since he'd checked on Bones's loft, so because it was closer than his apartment, he decided to kill two birds with one stone and make that his next stop.

Booth noticed a light coming from the en suite bathroom as he entered the loft. At once he was on alert and hopeful at the same time. Without turning on lights, he quietly set his dinner on the hutch just inside the front door and pulled his Glock from the holster nestled next to his ribs. Then he cautiously and quietly made his way toward the bedroom.

As he neared the bedroom, he heard the shower turn off and the glass slide back. He paused just inside the bedroom, but not in sight of the bathroom door and listened for a few minutes. He took a deep breath to try and calm his nerves. The apprehensive alertness had been replaced by excitement as he concluded Bones was just getting out of the shower. She was home.

"Bones?" he called and listened. He waited for several seconds, but heard only silence. Whatever activity she'd been engaged in prior to calling out to her had been halted. "Bones?" he called again. "Please tell me that's you in the bathroom."

He waited for several more seconds and then heard the bathroom door opening. He peeked around the corner and saw her emerge wearing a terry cloth robe and with her hair wrapped in a towel that was piled up on her head. He fought to contain the joy and relief that washed over him at seeing her back home, where she belonged.

"Booth!" she exclaimed. She was clearly surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I've been stopping by once a week to check on things, water the plants," he said and shrugged. Then he found the light switch and flipped it on. He fought the urge to close the distance between them and engulf her in a crushing hug. He was having a difficult time reading her, but the expression on her face helped squelch his urge too.

"Thank you for that," she said. She reached up to rub her hair with the towel before pulling it off and walking to discard it in a basket on the floor of her closet. Then she picked up a comb from her dresser and began combing her wet hair as she walked past him and into the living room.

"So," Booth said when he found his voice again. "Are you home for good now?" He followed her into the living room, his Diner dinner all but forgotten now.

"Yes," she said as she sat on a chair opposite the couch. "The threat has been neutralized."

"And are you going to tell me what that threat was?" he asked as he took a seat on the edge of the couch.

"No, I can't," she said and she shook her head. "But, it is fortunate you stopped by. I was going to call you and ask for your help."

"Help with what?" he asked.

"I think it would be less traumatic if you would reveal that I am not deceased to our colleagues at the Jeffersonian and perhaps to my family as well," she said as she placed the comb on the table.

"You want me to do your dirty work for you?" he asked.

"There will be no dirty work," she said with a frown on her face. "I just recall how I felt when I saw you alive at your funeral and with Angela's condition and the period of time that has passed...I think it might be...do you think I should just walk in and say hello to people who think I've been dead for six weeks?"

Booth shook his head. "No," he conceded. "That's probably not a good idea."

"I didn't think a phone call would be appropriate either," she said.

"What should I tell them?" he asked. "Should I tell them I've known all along?"

"Oh, no," she said and the frown on her face deepened with her level of concern. "That would make them angry at you. I don't want them to be angry with you. If they're angry with anyone it should be me."

"Then what?" he asked. His voice softened. He was touched by her concern for him and the others.

"I think they would expect me to contact you first. I think it would be best to ask them to meet with you in the morning. Explain that I was shot because of a case I was working on for the Department of Defense and for their safety a ruse was enacted while the investigation was concluded and the assassin and other members of his cabal were apprehended." She paused for a moment and then added, "It would be prudent to add that I was not consulted in the decision to perpetrate the ruse."

"Yeah, Bones, I think I got it," he said and sighed. "So, how are you? How are you feeling? Are you healed?"

"Yes," she replied. She pulled the collar of the robe closed and shivered slightly. "Unfortunately, the healing of the wound lengthened the time it took to identify the remains. That and not having the resources of the Jeffersonian and the FBI, both in personnel and equipment at my disposal."

"It's good to know you missed us," Booth said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Of course I missed all of you," she replied. The sincerity in her voice was not lost on Booth. Neither was the exhaustion and melancholy he saw in her eyes and posture. She needed rest and he needed to go work out some anger and frustration.

"Have you eaten, Bones?" Booth asked.

"Yes," she said. "I told you I was well cared for while I was...sequestered."

"Great, okay," he said as he rose off the couch and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I'm gonna..." He motioned his hand, his thumb sticking out towards the door. "...go."

Brennan nodded, but didn't move. Booth nodded and walked to the hutch to pick up his dinner. He continued to the door and just as he opened it he heard her say, "Booth." He turned to look back at her and she half-smiled. "Thank you," she said. He nodded again and left.

* * *

Brennan was attempting to work on her latest novel. Booth had called and said he'd be meeting with everyone at 8:30 in the morning. She planned to leave the loft at 8:30 and hoped that would be enough time for Booth to explain the situation before she arrived. However, it was only 5:00 am and she was already dressed and raring to head into the office. She had not slept well and lamented again at her dwindling ability to compartmentalize her anxiety, her excitement, her loneliness.

At precisely 8:30 am she began the drive to the Jeffersonian. Traffic at this time of the morning was a bit heavier than the earlier hour to which she was accustomed, so by the time she arrived at the Jeffersonian, the entire team had been informed she was alive. Everyone that was, but Thomas the security guard. He was surprised to say the least and she was surprised by his impromptu hug as she attempted to walk through the front door to his lab.

The noise and commotion from both Brennan's and Thomas's surprise drew the attention of those Booth had been meeting with and ended their grilling of him in favor of a tearful reunion of hugs and smiles and questions. Booth backed out of the group and left quietly as the Brennan and her Jeffersonian family got reacquainted.


	6. The Revelation in the Eavesdropping

Three weeks had passed since Brennan was _resurrected_. Life was back to _normal_ for just about everyone. Angela entered Brennan's office intent on discovering why the anthropologist had been so distant since her return to the Jeffersonian. They had just solved a case the day before and Brennan had not joined them for the celebratory drink at the Founding Fathers. It wasn't the first time she'd begged off a social gathering and Angela decided it was time to get to the bottom of the change in her behavior. She thought she knew, but she wondered if Brennan did.

"Hey, Sweetie, we missed you at theFounding Fathers last night," Angela said as she plopped herself in a chair across the desk from Brennan. She had noticed Brennan sitting at her desk, her laptop open, but just staring at the wall opposite the door for several minutes before she entered.

"Hi, Ang," Brennan said. It was apparent to Angela that her voice had disrupted a serious train of thought.

"What's got you so deep in thought?" Angela asked.

Brennan sighed, stood up and walked to the couch. "I've been trying to work on my novel," Brennan said as she laid back on the couch and rubbed her forehead as though she had a headache. Angela swiveled the chair so she was facing the couch and put her feet up on the table as she slouched into the chair trying to get more comfortable.

"Are you feeling okay, Bren?" Angela asked. "You've been...distant lately."

Brennan sighed. "I'm sorry, Ang," she replied.

"What's going on?" Angela asked. "Still trying to deal with whatever you were doing while you were _dead_?"

"No," Brennan said. "Nothing is going on."

"Oh, no," Angela said. "Something is going on. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me, so you might as well spill it."

"Spill it," Brennan repeated. "That means you want me to talk about is it you want me to talk about. I can't tell you anything more about when I was _dead_."

"Tell me what is bothering you," Angela said. "Something...is it Booth?"

"Why would it be Booth?" Brennan asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you were inseparable before you went on your hiatus and because you barely see each other outside of work since you returned?"

Brennan swallowed and sighed. "Booth has a...girlfriend now. Of course we don't spend as much time together because he has someone else with whom to share his time outside of work."

"Yeah, yeah," Angela said. "We've been through this before. You're happy for him. You like Hannah. She's everything you're not. Blah, blah, blah." Angela slid her feet off the coffee table and leaned forward. "You can be happy for Booth and believe you aren't what he needs, but it can still hurt like hell. You're walling yourself off again, Bren. If you don't want to talk to me, please talk to someone."

Brennan sniffed and drew her mouth into a tight line as she closed her eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill over her lids. "Oh Ang," she said. "It does hurt like hell. It's irrational, but I understand where the term heartbreak comes from now. I actually feel physical pain, a tightness in my chest when I see Booth with Hannah or hear him talk about her."

"I know, Sweetie," Angela said, her voice soft and empathetic. "I've wanted to kick his ass ever since that blond wrecking ball arrived."

"It's not her fault, Ang. It's mine," Brennan said.

"You know, everything is not your fault," Angela said.

"No, but this is," Brennan replied. She breathed deeply and sat up leaning forward with her elbows on her thighs. "Several weeks before we left, we went to see Dr. Sweets to discuss the first draft of his book. Dr. Sweets had concluded in his book that Booth and I were in love with each other, but his conclusion was based on inaccurate information and we wanted to inform him of that."

"That Sweets is a bright boy," Angela said and smiled.

"He was wrong, Ang," Brennan said. "About so many things."

"But not about that you and Booth were in love," Angela said.

"Perhaps not," Brennan agreed. "But I...I was...I wasn't ready..."

"Ready for what?" Angela asked.

Brennan sighed and leaned back against the couch. "Booth said...he's the gambler. He wanted to take a chance on us. He knew we could be together for 30 or 40 years."

"Oh, Bren..." Angela exclaimed, her eyes wide with surprise. "What...happened? What did you say?"

"I...was...surprised, confused," Brennan said. The tears she'd been fighting won and started to fall. "He'd said there was a line...that partners can't cross. It isn't like I haven't thought about crossing that line before. I had...I thought about it a lot. But, he was so adamant. And our partnership...was...everything. I couldn't lose that...lose him so I couldn't gamble," Brennan closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. "I didn't know I would lose him anyway," she said, softly. "I guess I should have known."

"How could you have known he would find...in Afghanistan for cryin' out loud?" Angela asked.

"No...I mean...you should have seen him when I told him I couldn't gamble. He was so...I hurt him Ang. I didn't mean to...I didn't want to hurt him. I can't hurt him again," Brennan said through soft sobs.

"Of course, you didn't," Angela said.

"He told me he had to move on...to find someone who could love him for 30 or 40 or 50 years," Brennan said as she fought for control. "When the opportunity in Maluku came along...do you see why I had to go? I had to think about our partnership, about my feelings, about the importance of a relationship unlike any I've never experienced before." Brennan took a couple of deep breaths.

Angela looked up at ceiling in an effort to stop her own tears from falling. As she brought her eyes back toward Brennan she noticed a movement outside the room and off to her right. Then she saw Booth standing almost out of visual range, but most likely still able to hear the conversation and she wondered how long he'd been there. _Well, if he wants to know_, she thought...

"So, you're holding all of this in because you don't want to hurt him again. Is that it?" Angela asked.

"Yes," Brennan said. "No. He's happy, Angela. That's really all I want for him."

"And your happiness is irrelevant?" Angela asked.

"Yes," Brennan said. "in regards to Booth. I made a mistake. It was too late by the time I realized it. It can't be undone."

"But, you love him, don't you?" Angela asked. "You can admit that now?"

Brennan sighed. "Yes."

"And if there had been no Hannah?" Angela asked.

"It's pointless to consider what ifs, Ang," Brennan replied. "There is a Hannah."

"Please, Sweetie, indulge me," Angela pleaded. "Did you plan to tell Booth that you were ready to gamble when you returned from Maluku?"

Brennan breathed deeply again and nodded. "If he was still interested, I was planning to try and correct the mistake I made last year," Brennan replied. "I had begun to believe that like so many other things regarding emotions and relationships, that Booth might have been right again. And while I'm still skeptical about monogamy, there is evidence that it can work. The seven months I was away from Booth showed me that distance did not diminish my feelings or longings for him. He was never out of my thoughts, he was frequently in my dreams and I have never missed anyone as much as I missed him."

"Oh, Sweetie," Angela said. She moved to sit beside Brennan and wrapped her arm around Brennan's shoulders. On her way to the couch, Angela glanced up to where Booth had been standing. Their eyes locked for a split second before he turned and walked rapidly toward the door. Angela took a deep breath and squeezed Brennan's shoulders. "Hannah is not going to be around for 30 or 40 or 50 years," she said.

"You can't know that," Brennan said as she shook her head.

"Hannah is a great girl," Angela said. "She's strong, independent, smart, beautiful..." Brennan nodded. "But she's not the settle down, get married and have kids type."

"Why do you say that?" Brennan asked.

"She's a nomad," Angela said. "She lives out of three suitcases and she seeks out danger. She's a poor substitute for you."

"I'm not the get married and have kids type either," Brennan said. "Neither were you, but you got married and you're having a child."

"Yes," Angela said. "People can change and you may not be the get married type, but you were considering having a child - Booth's child, I might add. Are you saying you no longer want to have children? Have you not already pictured yourself settled with a child?"

Brennan looked at her and considered her question. "I guess I was picturing myself settled with a child."

"And when you were picturing that, you were picturing Booth there too, weren't you?" Angela asked.

"To some extent, yes, I suppose I did picture him there." Brennan replied.

"Be patient, Bren," Angela said. "I promise you this thing with Booth is not over yet."

Brennan rolled her eyes, but smiled and hugged her friend.

"I think we need a girls day tomorrow," Angela said. "The Patron's Ball is only a few days away. We need to go shopping."

"I have gowns I can wear," Brennan said as she stood up and pulled down on the button-down shirt she was wearing. She walked to the desk. "But if you need something to accommodate your expanding waistline, I would enjoy shopping with you."

Angela huffed, "Expanding waistline. Yep...I do need something new. But you have to be open to a new gown too..."

"OK," Brennan said as she sat back down behind her desk. "Tomorrow...a whole day of shopping."


	7. The Surprise at the Patron's Ball

Brennan took one last look at Angela and Jack, dancing on the ballroom floor. Then she sighed, picked up her clutch, draped her wrap over her shoulders and was just standing up when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Before she could turn her head to see who had approached, her other three senses became acutely aware of who had approached as she simultaneously felt the heat of this breath on her ear and neck, smelled the unique combination of soap and lightly scented aftershave she recognized, then heard his quiet, deep voice say, "May I have this dance?"

Her heart started beating rapidly and she held her breath as she turned to face her suitor. He had taken her completely by surprise as he was the last person she expected to see at this event. When she finally turned and saw him, the sight took her breath away. Booth in a sharp suit was a not unusual, but Booth in a tux was rare and always disarming. Thoughts of their evening spent at the opening of the Anok exhibit invaded and light headed feeling swept over her, forcing her to take a breath before she managed to blurt out, "Booth! What are you doing here?"

"Wow, Bones," Booth exclaimed has he stood back at arms length and looked at her. Brennan had argued when Angela insisted she purchase the ice blue ball gown that matched her eyes. The right side of the bodice crossed over the left creating a sweetheart neckline that revealed an ample amount of her decolletage and required her to put makeup on the red scar from the bullet that pierced her chest. The neckline extended to the just below the shoulder where a band of cloth created a an off-the-shoulder strap of sorts. The bodice was form fitting until just below the top of the hips where the skirt flared out and the yards of fabric that crossed over and an angle opposite that of the bodice. "You look amazing!"

"Thank you," she said and she felt a blush rise involuntarily on her cheeks.

He reached his hand out for her to take and she stared at it for too long, almost forgetting the words he'd said to her just seconds ago. "What's the matter, Bones?" he asked. "You don't want to dance with me?"

"What? No...I mean..." She stopped speaking and took a deep breath as she reached out to take his hand in hers. "Of course, I was just...surprised. I didn't expect to see you here." She hoped her explanation had been acceptable because she really was trying to compartmentalize the rush of excitement she'd felt when he had asked her to dance, but she was struggling to do so. After all of these months, she still had not figured out how to think of Booth as just her partner again.

She took his hand and allowed him to lead her, purse, wrap and all out on the dance floor. He directed them to a place near the outer edge of the dancing crowd and not far from the entrance. Her left hand held her clutch purse as she draped that arm over his shoulder and he continued to hold her right hand while his right arm wrapped around her waist. She resisted his attempt to pull her closer. It just didn't feel right given the changes in their relationship since Hannah had followed him back from Afghanistan.

"So, your date doesn't mind sharing you for this dance?" Brennan asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I don't have a date this evening," he replied.

To say she was surprised by his response was an understatement. "Then why are you here, Booth?" she asked.

"Well, after I defended Cam about making this mandatory for all of you, I just felt...a little guilty..." She waited but he didn't finish the thought.

"You felt guilty because you weren't required to attend?" she asked.

"Yeah," Booth responded. He was looking over her toward the others on the dance floor. "Something like that."

"And you couldn't talk Hannah into joining you? I would think this would be right up her avenue," Brennan said. She looked away the minute he turned his face toward her. She didn't want to meet his eyes any more than he apparently wanted to meet hers.

"What? No, it's alley, Bones...right up her alley," Booth said.

"Why didn't she join you?" she asked again, trying to bury her annoyance at his correction of her attempt to use an expression.

Booth seemed to hedge a bit, so she waited, trying to be patient. She was having a difficult time keeping her voice steady, her breathing even. It was very unlike her. Emotions were welling to the surface and she was struggling far more than normal to keep them buried. It seemed to be Booth that always caused this difficulty.

"Hannah moved to New York," he said finally.

"New York," Brennan repeated and she was momentarily distracted. "What is she doing in New York?"

"She got a network anchor job there and she just couldn't pass up the opportunity," Booth said and shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"So, your in a long distance relationship now?" she asked softly.

"Uh, no," Booth replied.

"No?" Brennan asked.

"No," Booth said and sighed. "Hannah and I are not together any more," he explained.

"Oh," Brennan said and finally turned to look at him again. She felt a fleeting moment of joy before she squashed it and replaced it with a hint of fear and guilt. "I'm sorry, Booth."

"Yeah, thanks...wait," he turned from his aimless surveying of the crowded ballroom. "You are?"

"What? Sorry?" Brennan asked, her voice rising slightly in surprise. "Yes. Well, she made you happy...you seemed happy in your relationship with her. So, yes, if that made you happy and it ended...I'm sorry."

The music they had been dancing to ended and dancers began clapping and disbursing. Brennan pulled away from Booth and clapped for a few moments as she considered ways to exit the room quickly. She was feeling very confused and wanted time alone to process the information she'd just learned. Then she turned to Booth and said, "Thank you for the dance, Booth."

Before he could respond, she started walking in a pace far quicker than she thought she could handle while wearing the shorter spike heeled shoes she'd chosen for the evening. She wasn't entirely sure why, but she felt strongly compelled to be anywhere but at the ball. Surely she'd put in enough time to appease Cam and the patrons she'd been assigned to entertain that evening. It was nearly midnight and she felt exhausted, spent...emotionally drained. She just wanted to go home, find a good bottle of wine and soak in a hot tub.

She really shouldn't have been surprised when Booth took hold of her arm, just above the elbow as she tried to hail a cab. She sighed and frowned as he waved off the cab that had slowed to pull over for her.

"Booth, please, I'm very tired and I want to go home," she said. Her voice was not nearly as strong sounding as she might have liked it to be.

"Bones, I'll take you home. My SUV is right over in the lot," he said. "There's something I really want to show you on the way," he continued as he placed his left hand on the small of her back and continued to gently tug on her right arm with his right hand.

She sighed and followed without saying anything else. "I promise, I won't keep you long," he said quietly as they walked toward his vehicle.

She allowed him to open the door for her and close it for her after she settled in the passenger seat. She took a couple of deep breathes to try and steady her nerves while he walked around to the driver's side and climbed in. She purposely chose to look away from him as he started the car and began driving to where ever this _thing_ was that he wanted to show her.

The route he took was familiar. They'd been to the Lincoln Memorial on several occasions. Finding a parking spot next to the memorial grounds was not difficult at this time of night. They were still silent as he opened her door and she got out of the vehicle. But as he started guiding her toward the reflecting pool across the street from the memorial, she began to get irritated.

"Booth, I think I've seen the Lincoln Memorial and the reflecting pool on several occasions," she said. "What is it you want to show me?"

He didn't answer right way, so she decided to ask another question that had been nagging at her since she left the ball. "When did Hannah move to New York?"

She was surprised that he answered this time. "Oh...about a month ago," he replied. He was still looking straight ahead and gently prodding her forward toward the reflecting pool.

"A month ago?" Brennan was stunned. How had she not known that his girlfriend had been gone for a month? "Why...why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know," he replied, still looking forward, still prodding ahead. "We haven't really talked much over the past few months, haven't really shared any personal information..."

She took a deep steadying breath as she was hit with an onslaught of guilt. It was her fault and she knew it. She'd rejected him. He'd told her he needed to move on...he had moved on. They'd become just partners...not nearly as close as they were before his _gamble_, just partners.

While lost in her thoughts of self recrimination, they must have finally made it to the destination Booth had in mind because he stopped. Brennan forced herself to focus and was a bit surprised to find they were standing in front of _their bench_. She looked around and of course the coffee cart was not open at this time of night, but it was there. She hadn't been here in quite a while, but it felt very familiar, none-the-less.

"Do you know what today is?" Booth asked as he motioned for her to take a seat on the bench.

Brennan inhaled sharply as she realized the answer to his question. It was after midnight, so it was _the_ day. "It's a year from the day we left on our respective sabbaticals," she said quietly as she sat down on the bench.

"We said we'd meet here on this day," he said. She felt her breath quicken as he looked at her.

She cleared her throat, hoping her voice would be strong as she intended. "Yes, but we both thought we'd be returning from Afghanistan and Indonesia. We didn't know we'd be back several months prior to this date."

"No, things didn't turn out the way either of us were planning, I'm sure," Booth said.

"Indeed, the did not," Brennan said and sighed as she looked toward the reflecting pool. This was one of her favorite times of year...mid-spring. It was past cherry blossom time, but the late spring had delayed the blooming of dogwood trees and they were resplendently in bloom around the area.

"I've missed you, Bones," Booth said. Brennan's eyes grew wide and she turned her attention back to him. He was looking at her again. There was no lack of eye contact present on his part.

"I've been right here," she said, confused by his statement.

"I'm not saying it's your fault," he clarified. "Just that...I miss...we...you haven't really been around. You leave case celebrations early. We don't go to lunch or dinner any more. We just plain don't see each other unless there's a case to work on and then it's all about the work."

"Well, you've had someone else to spend your free time with," she replied. "I've tried not to interfere..."

"And I appreciate that," Booth said as he interrupted her. "But I still miss you."

Brennan was completely out of her element. This emotional rollercoaster she'd been riding the past year was beginning to take it's toll. She'd been working to so hard to keep unwanted emotions at bay, emotions she now recognized as jealousy and regret. This new twist was more than she could take at that particular moment. She stood up and intended to walk back toward the SUV, but he caught her arm and stilled her retreat.

"Bones, please," Booth pleaded. "Can't we talk? We used to be able to talk..."

Brennan gently pulled away from his grasp and pulled her wrap more tightly around her. She began walking again, but not away. She began pacing slowly in front of the bench.

"What would you like me to say, Booth?" Brennan asked. She tried and failed to keep the irritation she was feeling at being thrust into another emotional whirlwind out of her voice. "What would you like to hear? Should I tell you I missed you too? Should I tell you that I missed you for the entire last year? Should I tell you that leaving a year ago did not accomplish everything I intended? The dig was a virtual bust. Being away and trying to concentrate on the field I had felt such passion for did not stop me from continuing to worry for your safety, nor did it stop me from having nightmares as I had hoped."

"Bones," Booth said. She knew he wanted to interrupt her and stop her rambling, but she was having none of that. He'd asked for this and she'd held it in for far too long, so he was going to hear it all.

"It did give me a bit of the perspective I'd hoped would help me work through the emotional turmoil that was so draining before I left. While my IQ far exceeds the average in most areas of intelligence, I do not exceed the average in Intrapersonal intelligence. This is an area where I need time to mull, as Cam calls it. In fact, I needed quite a lot of time to mull. After several months away, I did manage to come to some conclusion about our partnership and it's importance in my life. But, I was too late. Before I could reveal any of that to you, I learned about Hannah and I knew my time had been wasted."

"I tried to return to the familiar. I tried to go back to being alone, but you had made that impossible. You taught me that family isn't always biological and that I could belong to a group in more than a superficial or professional manner. But I wasn't ready for it and I ruined everything. I told you I had been protecting you from me. I've never been good at relationships."

"I'm always too slow to realize, too late to act, too afraid to lose what little connection I am able to make. It's so difficult. There is such joy in sharing with people you care for and trust, so much worry and fear for their well-being when you are parted and such agony when the sharing and trust ends." She finally paused and took a deep breath, trying to squelch the tears she felt brimming from her eyelids. Her back was to him as she struggle to regain control of the emotions that had come flooding to the surface."

"Bones," Booth said quietly. "Nothing has ended."

She whirled around to face him. The anger he'd just evoked allowed her to finally make the eye contact she'd avoided during her previous admissions. " For me, everything has ended! Everything has changed...Jack and Angela share mostly with each other now, as it should be. They're bringing a child into the world and they will have very little energy for anything other than their immediate family for quite some time. You moved on as you said you would. While I hoped that wouldn't change our relationship, I was naive and stupid. How could it not? You needed to focus on your relationship with Hannah, needed to spend time developing that sharing and trust with her. It is my fault...I'm the one who no longer felt comfortable sharing and trusting as I had before."

Brennan paused again. She walked back to the bench and sat down. If she thought she'd felt tired before, she was wrong. Now she felt tired.

"My turn," Booth said quietly as he shifted to angle his body toward hers on the bench. Brennan closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the urge to shiver. The last thing she wanted was for Booth to be chivalrous and offer his jacket to her.

"My first few months in Afghanistan were very difficult. I know about worrying and nightmares too."

Brennan slowly opened her eyes to find that intense gaze of his she hadn't see aimed at her in quite some time. She couldn't stop the regret she felt from showing on her face momentarily.

"When Hannah came into the picture..." Booth looked away toward the reflecting pool for a moment and she knew he was searching for words, words she both wanted and didn't want to hear.

"I was at a very low point. I was missing Parker, I was missing DC, the Bureau...you." He swallowed and looked down for a moment. She wondered if he was feeling as drained as she was. Was he fighting tears too?

"I hadn't heard from you...not a word. No phone calls, no emails..." She fought the urge to interrupt him and explain. There was no explanation, really. She had been avoiding contact with him. She felt it was the only way she would be able to gain that perspective she wanted so desperately.

"She was...like an oasis in the desert. She was pretty and smart...and she liked me." Booth smiled that lop-sided, shy smile she'd missed seeing.

"As you said, Booth, she is a smart woman," Brennan said quietly.

"We talked several times before I came back. She said she would never give up her embedded status and return to a stateside assignment. She enjoyed the action, the excitement..." Booth shook his head. Brennan knew he didn't miss that action or excitement.

"So, when she walked into the Diner that day...you could have knocked me over with a feather. I figured we would keep in touch, spend the occasional vacation together if we could make the dates work. I had no idea she would change her mind and follow me."

"Don't get me wrong, I was excited when she showed up. I really wanted to make it work with her and for a while, I really thought we were going some where." Booth paused and looked down at his hands resting on his legs.

"What happened?" Brennan asked.

"This isn't Afghanistan," Booth said and shrugged. "Everything's different here."

"I was unaware that geographic location is a factor you consider critical for the success of a lasting relationship, " Brennan said in a quiet, not sarcastic tone.

"Bones," said Booth as he moved closer to her. "It's not. Location is not the issue."

"Then, what is?" she asked.

"You," Booth said.

Brennan's face contorted in anguish, her brow furrowing deeply and her eyes beginning to glisten with tears she fought again to suppress. "Me?" she asked. "No...you can't blame this on me. I was supportive. I was happy for you. I did everything I could to stay out of your relationship with Hannah!" she protested.

Booth instinctively reached his hand out to take a hold of hers. "Bones, no," Booth said. "I'm not blaming you. You were supportive. You were fantastic!"

"Then, I don't understand," she said.

"It's...you know what? How about you tell me about that conclusion you came to in the islands?" Booth asked. His eyebrows rose and his expression softened into a near puppy-dog pleading look. The fact that he didn't make up a goofy name for Maluku was not lost on Brennan. She felt the weight of his earnestness and heaved a rather large sigh as if trying to push the weight off of her chest.

"I don't know, Booth," Brennan said quietly. She could not longer bear to look into his eyes. She needed to breathe and it was far more difficult to breathe when she looked into his eyes. "What if we've missed our moment?"

He reached out and gently lifted her chin up to restore the eye contact she was trying to avoid. "Bones," he said. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," Brennan replied.

"I mean, do you still trust me like you used to trust me? With your life? No secrets, no lies?" he questioned.

"Yes, Booth," she insisted. "I have always trusted you with my life and you know I endeavor not to lie to anyone, but especially you."

"Then, please Bones..." he implored, "trust me enough to share your conclusion."

She pursed her lips together and looked away toward the reflecting pool for a few moments, giving herself time to gather her thoughts and again suppress tears that threatened to fall. She swallowed in an attempt to clear what felt like a lump in her throat.

"My conclusion has changed in the five months since I returned," she said as she returned her gaze to his face. "And before I discuss that with you I want to apologize."

"For what?" Booth asked.

"Last year, when you asked me to take a chance on us," she said and then swallowed hard again. "I told you I couldn't change and that I didn't have your kind of open heart. I thought I was protecting you but I was wrong. I was wrong about all of it. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you and I now know that is exactly what I did. I saw it then, but I didn't know...until I realized I had made a big mistake."

"Bones," Booth said as he reached out and touched her shoulder, trying to sooth her.

"No," Brennan said, her voice catching and nearly failing her. She shook her had as she pulled further away. "I failed to realize that I had already changed. I was so afraid of losing our partnership...friendship...I just couldn't gamble because I couldn't bear to lose that. It was the most important...you were the most...and I..."

"Bones?" Booth questioned. "Was? Please don't say was..."

Brennan looked up, heaved a large sigh and gathered up all the courage and determination she could muster. He deserved that much and she couldn't possibly feel any worse. "Booth," she said and reached up to gently caress the left side of his face. "You _are_ the most important person in my life. I was so afraid of losing you that I pushed you away. I've never before felt the way I feel about you. I rely on you far more than I should or would care to admit, even to myself."

She paused when she saw a smile spread slowly across his face. It wasn't the smile he used when he was trying to charm her into agreeing with him. It wasn't the smile he used when she was trying his patience. It was the smile that expressed joy, happiness, excitement.

"Why are you smiling?" Brennan asked.

"Because I feel closer to you right now than I have in months," said Booth.

Brennan swiped at a tear that managed to roll down her cheek despite her best efforts to hold it back, but she couldn't help smiling in return.

"I don't think we've missed our moment," Booth said.

"You don't?" Brennan asked.

"No," said Booth and he shook his head slowly.

"Why?" Brennan asked. Her voice was strong again and the tears were drying up.

"Because I still love you, Bones. I'm still _in_ love with you," Booth said as he raised his hand up to caress her cheek. "And now I think maybe...you love me too?"

Brennan was long past the point where she felt she had anything left to lose. It would have been insanity for her to try the same thing and hope for a different outcome. It was time to try something else.

She nodded her affirmation, while biting her lower lip. It was beyond her why she felt so shy about admitting that she loved Booth, but she did. Or perhaps it wasn't so much shy as terrified. She'd always felt admitting that was tantamount to ending the relationship she'd been so desperately trying to preserve. The evidence now suggested the opposite might be true.

"Based on everything you've taught me about love, I believe the way I feel about you is most likely that," she said quietly. She shivered, despite her best effort to resist the chill in the air.

"Bones," Booth said as he stood and reached out to take her hand. "I'm sorry, you're not dressed for this. Let's get you home, huh?"

She nodded her agreement and allowed him to pull her up from the bench. They walked in silence toward his vehicle and when they reached it, she allowed him to open the passenger door for her, assist her in entering and close the door behind her.

The drive from the memorial to her loft began silently too. It had several a few moments for the car to warm her enough to loosen her wrap and relax a little. This was not how she'd planned to end the evening, not how she planned on getting home.

"You okay?" Booth asked, breaking the silence. "Are you warm enough?"

"Yes and yes," she answered.

The rest of the journey to her loft was silent. The silence continued for several minutes after Booth parked the SUV in the building lot. Neither of them really knew what to say. They were both left with _what now_ questions.

"Thank you for the ride, Booth," Brennan said and opened the door. That snapped Booth out of his silent contemplation.

"Oh, hey, hang on there, Bones, huh?" Booth said as he quickly exited the vehicle and made his way to her side to help her out.

"That wasn't necessary," she said as he held out his hand for her to take as a stabilizing support. "But it's very nice. Thank you."

He bent his head slightly and lifted her hand to his lips for a quick, tender kiss. "Anything for you, Bones."

"Anything?" she asked coyly as he pushed the SUV door closed behind her, leaning into her slightly. She backed up until she met the now closed door. He placed his right hand on the frame of the SUV beside her and leaned against it.

"Anything, Bones," he said. His face had become serious and she was silenced by the sudden intensity of his gaze. Just like that, the silent communication that had been missing for so many months was back. She had just always been a bit unsure if she interpreted correctly.

She leaned in slightly, bringing their faces so close they were separated by mere millimeters. She could feel his breath tickling her top lip, could feel the frequency of that breath increase to match the increase in hers. Everything else faded away...the chill in the air, the sound of traffic passing...all she could hear now was the pounding of her own heart in her ears.

"Booth..." He interrupted whatever she'd planned to say by eliminating those remaining millimeters and placing a soft, tentative kiss on her lips.

She wanted to resist. She wanted to protect herself from the pain she thought was inevitable, from the break-up logic told her would eventually come. But she'd already done that and it hadn't worked. So logic also told her it was time to try something different and his arms sliding around her to pull her close to him felt so good. His lips and now tongue were making her want to stop thinking all together.

Brennan felt herself melt into him, felt herself give into the longing and desire she'd been burying for longer than she cared to remember. It was time for a different outcome, so she would try something different. He had already tried something different. He'd told her he loved her, that he was in love with her. That was so much better than wanting to take a chance. So, she would put her head into neutral and pop her heart into overdrive. She would trust him with her metaphorical heart because if she'd allow herself to admit it, he'd had it for a very long time anyway.


End file.
